The thought of not being able to have more children is hard to swallow, although I am dealing more and more with acceptance. I realize that this is the path God has laid for me and I must follow it. If I trust that He knows what is best, and that He has a good plan for my life, why not trust Him? The problem is that my heart gets in the way and I get selfish. All I can think of at times is my own selfish desire to have children with my husband. I asked the question that if my life ended tomorrow, would it matter if I had more children or that I led someone else to Christ?
I believe that God knows my every thought and desire. Scripture (Matthew 6:33) tells me to seek first His Kingdom and all other things will be added unto me. So my goal is to focus on God and the work He has for me to do. I must realize that we all suffer and experience trials and tribulations. But in those tribulations, it builds character, patience, and preserverance(Romans 5:24). It makes me a stronger Christian and person.
There is purpose in my pain. Sometimes I wish it were easier to chew.
