A Talk with my Son

Today my 9 year old son and I were talking about the baby before school. He said that he believes God is just going to be fair and take this baby too since it is a boy. That way, I will only have one boy and one girl alive and one boy and one girl dead. I wasn't sure what to say to him. I just pray to God that this child be the miracle our family is looking for. I wanted to reassure him that this time the baby would live but even I don't know what God has planned.

My cousin came to visit me yesterday and asked what keeps me going. Before I knew it, I was preaching to her about how God answers prayer! I truly believe that while everyone is doubting this child will make it into the world alive, God is going to reveal Hisself to us by delivering this child! I can't lose faith now even though many of my friends and family don't believe that this child is mean't to be.

Fluctuating Amniotic Fluid

While I am still very greatful that God has blessed us with this child, it has not been an uneventful pregnancy! At 12 weeks, I started spotting and thought for sure it was a sign of miscarriage. It stopped after a few days of bed rest and I returned to work reassured! At 14 weeks I ruptured my membranes (my water broke) and I went in to the emergency room.

Once they discovered that I was leaking amniotic fluid, the doctor kept apologizing to me. I had no idea what it meant! After she reassured me that I was "still young", she told me to follow up with my doctor in a week to find out what my options were! I was devastated! I thought for sure the baby would die!

I realize that before 20 weeks gestation, there is not much that can be done to prevent miscarriage. When complications arise, you must go and sit in the emergency room as if you sprained an ankle. It seems as if there is no urgency to attend to the life inside of you. Often, the doctors and nurses are callused toward the situation and show little emotion. I just wish I could go back and teach that doctor the proper way to console patients! Thank God my doctor reassured me that there was still plenty of hope that the baby would be fine!

I went to the doctor yesterday and the fluid was still low but the baby was ok. I am 17 weeks now and still on bed rest and may be admitted between 24 to 26 weeks to monitor the baby's development until delivery. I have such mixed emotions. In a way, I am happy that they are going to watch me closely and almost wish it could be sooner. On the other hand, I have two children at home and that would be an awful long time to leave them alone with my husband. Not to mention the financial strain we are experiencing because I cannot work!

I am still trusting and believing that God will work this out. God provided for us for the last pregnancy and I know He will do it again. I pray that my faith is renewed daily!