Well, it's been about three weeks now. I was in Target shopping the other day and a strange feeling came over me when I walked by the maternity clothes and then the baby section. I remember feeling like I was just there. Just a few weeks ago, I would have been shopping for baby items and picking out new and cute maternity tops. I can't believe it is over. I was so close! Just a few weeks away.
I go back to work on Monday. Sometimes I feel like I'm not needed and they are going to find a way to fire me. I've been gone for so long and they were able to do things without me. I'm having a hard time trying to define what I bring to the table. Did I lose my drive?
On top of everything that has been going on, my husband and I had a huge argument. It is funny because a while ago, I imagined myself to be this tough, indepedent woman who wouldn't care if he decided to leave. This time, just the thought of him being away for a short time almost killed me. To add to the chaos, my family got involved and there are some bad feelings lingering.
We are better now although I know that things aren't fixed. I'm sure we are both stressed out and hurting. It is funny how much more you appreciate and how much harder you love when it is in danger of being lost.
I pray that God will bless and protect my family and remove any unnecessary feelings. I seem to think negatively about everything lately.
