Ever since I met my husband I've wanted to have his child. Although we've had our differences in discipline choices and handling situations, I see that he truly desires to be, and is a good father. He didn't even hesitate to start caring for my two children. He treats them as if they were his own and doesn't ask questions or hinder their biological father from visiting. He wants them to succeed and does everything in his power to make sure they have the best of everything. He provides for all of us unselfishly.
I look back on my life and remember how hard it was to raise my two children at such a young age. I had the help of my family, but wanted so bad for their father to be a part of it. I wanted a family! I've always wanted to experience the fairy tale pregnancy where the father and both our families were excited about the coming child! I wanted the father to touch my growing stomach and talk to the baby. I wanted him to be concerned for my health and things that could harm the baby.
I often envision us decorating the nursery and what it would be like the first day we bring baby home. I want to share all the joys, sorrows, and frustrations of parenting a baby. There are so many experiences from having my first two that I want him to experience with me. With each loss, the void in my heart grows larger. Sometimes it seems as if this dream will never come true.
We haven't given up on having our own child, but we are considering adoption. In the event we are unable to have our own, we can give our love to a child who needs us. Of course I have to consider what God's will is for our lives. I know He knows my heart, but He also knows best.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
